September 20, 2008 by j.

The seasons are turning. Isn’t it funny how we measure our lives in completely useless terms - what size pants do you wear? how many calories did you consume at lunch? what is your zip code? do you own a dyson? I’m trying to get back to the things that matter - I keep forgetting to focus on what is supposedly my life’s passion (ironic, isn’t it?) Perhaps I’m just not brave enough to follow through.

Lessons I have learned in the last week:

- Jojoba beads are not poisonous for consumption by dogs, in any quantity. That being said, you will still get ridiculed by Poison Control for calling to ask.
- My dog will eat anything in a plastic bag, no matter how long it takes her to get to it. If it’s sealed in a plastic bag, it must be delicious.
- It is in POOR form to get babbling drunk on a date
- A meal of chips and salsa will come back to haunt you. (This is unrelated to previous point.)
- There is too such a dance as “the shopping cart”.
- There may be a dance called “the frying pan”, but this confuses me.
- Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you’re interesting.
- One of the symptoms for lyme disease is reduced mental capacity and a lowered IQ. I think I know *many* people with lyme disease.

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September 7, 2008 by j.

It is 3am. I have achieved a holy grail of single women everywhere. Huzzah!

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September 3, 2008 by j.

It’s hopeless. I just wasn’t meant to sleep tonight. I wonder if God had some awesome plan for me tonight, and I wasted the opportunity by being mad at my bedsheets.

Things I have done to pass the time:

- eaten a mango
- arranged all of my unopened mail in order by size
- stared at my snoring dog for 20 minutes with my laserbeam eyeballs and mentally willed her to wake up (it didn’t work)
- googled all of the coworkers I could think of. I had to stop when I embarassingly started to actually find things.
- folded one pair of socks before getting bored of doing chores. Then I unfolded them and put them on.
- watched a DVR’d episode of The Hills
- watched an infomercial for the Malibu Pilates gadget.. which I kind of want now
- opened my freezer 92085 times, not sure searching for what..
- googled McDonald’s to see when it opens, so I can go get an egg mcmuffin
- pored carefully over a J.Crew catalog and earmarked about $2000 worth of clothing that I’m not going to buy

The pictures of young women wearing cocktail dresses in the J.Crew catalog brought up a very old memory for me. My sixth grade graduation was a big event. We had a rehearsal and learned a song to sing and everything (I think it was a lil ditty about being friends forever). All of the girls were going to wear these scrunchy frilly hot pink dresses that were much too tight and horribly slutty for 12-year old girls.. but it was the fashion of the times and I would have cut my right arm off for one. I dragged my mom to the mall at least a dozen times and modeled the slutty dress for her, purring at myself in the mirror and testing its stretchiness, and willing her to see what I saw. But, my mom very practically said This is a dress you’re going to wear one time. And it’s very ugly.

I cried.

My mom altered a dress for me to wear for my big day - I regret that I don’t know what the dress looked like before she began, since I was studiously ignoring her while she worked hard at it. I was such a little brat. The dress was a sleeveless cream colored fitted dress with pretty amber and pale blue stripes along the bottom and around the waist. My mom also magically made me a headband to match. Looking back, it was entirely pretty and I should have been so proud but instead, I put it on and thought only about how horribly plain I was going to look next to all of my super cool classmates, who were going to be wearing makeup and channeling very cool and very neon Debbie Gibsons.

But.. when I stomped into the living room to show my dress off to my dad, his eyes lit up and he said You look like a princess!

It was the nicest thing he had ever said to me in my entire life. And to this day, it’s still somewhere in the top ten.

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September 3, 2008 by j.

It’s 2:14 am and I’m wide awake. I know this has happened to you before too - I’ve been flopping around in bed for the last hour… my bedsheets were (are) all rumpled and twisted up unnaturally around my body like a big 600 thread-count venus flytrap. My pajama bottoms are also twisted and turned every way but the right way, and the legs keep creeping up. Does this happen every night? Do I just not notice it? I’m so pissed off!!!

I *refuse* to get up and make the bed based on the principle that I’m already in it and supposed to happily asleep right now. I know I’m right. I know I’m right. I know I’m right. Gah!!

Hm, I’m a little hungry. I might get up and eat a mango.

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August 25, 2008 by j.

The previous post likely doesn’t mean what you think it means. All is well in my world, I promise.. thanks to all for emailing and checking up on me! Or what is it that my friend taught me the other day… d-.-b Did I get that right?

Something I noticed while driving today…. have you noticed that CAR WASH and CASH BAR have mostly the same letters? This must be so confusing to dyslexics.

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August 23, 2008 by j.

She regarded me in stunned silence. Then she smiled broadly and wrapped her childlike arms around me in a show of sportsmanship; I yielded, bending down to receive the greeting. Her idle gazes had a singular target, and I observed, thinking.. this night could end badly for me.

And then he took her hand. And it did.

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August 21, 2008 by j.

Got back from a weeklong cruise to Bermuda, and it’s taken me five days to haul my ass online to write a post. The ship was great, the island was awesome - lovely blue water and gorgeous stretches of beach with the softest pink-flecked sand. I’m tanned so dark that I could pass for Apu. I wish I was still on vacation… my brain definitely is. And that’s all I have to say about that for now.

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August 6, 2008 by j.

I had the most amazing birthday, filled with four straight days eating and laughing, old friends and new friends, lots of singing and lots of dancing. Ok maybe the dancing was just me, but whatever. Special thanks to Kevin for being The Ultimate Planner for my special weekend, and big ups to those that traveled from afar just to see me this weekend. I am so very moved.

During my last birthday (and probably every birthday of my 20s), I spent a lot of time looking inwards to gauge my own personal growth, whether I was where I wanted to be in life, and so on. That seems to be the universal worry of the average twenty-something, no? This year.. I look outwards and see so much that I am thankful for. I’m grateful for my family for standing behind me always. I’m grateful for several great groups of friends that never fail to make me laugh on the bluest of days.. some of whom I consider brothers and sisters for life - you know who you are. I’m thankful for air-conditioning, automatic teller machines, and cream-cheese frosting. I’m grateful that roasted meat is as delicious as it is. I think the world of the person that first decided to dip a strawberry into chocolate, and I’m pretty darn thankful for Target. I’m also thankful that Steve Jobs never came into contact with African wildlife as a child, so that he could survive to one day create the iPhone 3G for me. Just for me.

Here’s what 30 looks like. Cheers!

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July 29, 2008 by j.

Somehow… it is the end of July already. ???

Here is a photo of the bridal couple. You guys know where to go to find the rest of the photos from my trip.

Jacques & Elodie
5 Juillet 2008
Aubeville, France

Since returning from blissful vacation, I have:
- been sicker than a dawg (stupid mass transportation + recycled air)
- learned of the passing of an old friend to our nemesis, Leukemia
- nearly lost my dog but later found her napping peacefully under a bush

Post-vacation blues have been rough… Good thing I’m going on vacation again in a week. Whew!

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July 7, 2008 by j.

Back in Paris after a gorgeous and very fun wedding in Aubeville and Cognac, France. Blessings to the new Domenges family! Pictures to follow.

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