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Archive for May 2009

lunch

May 20, 2009 by j.

A conversation over lunch confirms that I’m still as mature as a suckling pig.

Tim: You didn’t do it? (no clue what we were discussing)
Me: Yer mama did it.
Tim: Hey. Get off my mama and I’ll get off yours.
Me: Ohhh is that why she’s laughing so hard?
[heaps of hysterical laughter]

Hysterical Google Trends
President Spock
Jedi Nuptials
Monkey Kiss!
Things we should be thankful for (a thoughtful read)
Scary Dog

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mama

May 13, 2009 by j.

I don’t think I blog as much any more (not that I did that often to begin with) because of facebook and twitter. I laughed about microbloggers when twitter first came out, but the truth is that I’m addicted to knowing what everyone is doing at every minute of the day. It pleases my inner control freak.

So mother’s day came and went. I was a bad daughter this year and didn’t pick out anything terribly thoughtful for my mom. I took her out to lunch at a Thai restaurant, and I bought her a giant bouquet from Whole Foods which was very lovely and expensive… but in an unplanned twist, I wasn’t charged for it at the store so technically my thieving ass paid not one shiny penny for my lovely mama and I should be in jail.

To make up for it, I’ll make a list of things that my mom gave me:
- Bad circulation and low blood pressure.
- Cold skin. Our skin is always oddly cool to the touch, even when it’s 100 degrees out.
- The tendency to hold my arms up prairie dog style. My mom does it. I do it. I don’t know why.
- Pinky toes that turn outwards like lima beans. This caused me to get teased as a child.
- The ability to look genuinely confused when it’s beneficial to do so.

If that list sounds terrible, it’s because I don’t feel like I’ve yet lived up to the good things that she’s tried to give me through her own example:
- A compassionate heart.
- Kindness towards the timid and soft-spoken, and the ability to make folks feel at ease.
- Forgiveness towards the brash.
- A careful eye for planning and organization.
- The ability to put someone else before herself.
- The ability to eat much and yet stay slim. THANKS DAD.
- Freckles.

I’ll keep trying, Mom. Love you.

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Archive for May 2009

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