January 13, 2009 by j.

You know it’s been a good night when it ends like this….
Drunk girl: Have a nice night!
Joe: Thanks! You have a nice night too!
Drunk girl: (grabs own boobs) WHAT?! YOU THINK I HAVE SMALL TITS????
Joe: WHAT??? NO!!!
Josh: Wegottago.

Also, this is taken from a poster at my local Starbucks - a big decorated thank-you note given to the store from some local schoolchildren. (Incidentally, what are they thanking Starbucks for? Is Starbucks giving our kids coffee??) Anyhow.. ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the overcaffeinated children of America. God help us.

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January 8, 2009 by j.

Hullo, the time has flown by and we’re already firmly planted in next year. What!?

In the days following this warm and fuzzy holiday season, I spent time looking at friends’ pictures from their holiday parties, their visits with family, reunions, etc. I realized that more and more of my friends now have growing families of their own… now that their little ones are no longer babies but are children, the reality that we’re all now adults (omigod) is that much clearer. Remember the very first time you did something that felt remarkably adult? Corked a bottle of wine and drank it out of your own proper wine glass, for instance.. or bought some shmancy kitchen gear that you didn’t need but rather wanted. Didn’t you feel a bit like it was playing pretend? Well I think we’ve reached a point where it’s not pretend any more, and it’s time to own up that this really is our time. We are the kings of the world! The masters of the universe! This is our time! Huzzah!! Suck on that, 2009!

Interestingly, some pictures I look at of friends holding their young children… my perspective flips and I’m brought back to my own memories of being a teenager and flipping through old photo albums, of pictures of myself as a baby and of my folks before I was born. How young mom looked, how sexy! Look how long her legs are, and those SHOES!! My mom wouldn’t be caught dead in stilettos today, but there’s photographic proof that she was a foxy lil thing before I came along. Bellbottoms and long gypsy hair, platform stilettos, the whole foxy 70s bit. Hot! (No wonder she snorts when I try to impress her with my shoes.) Every photo that we take today, we will shock and surprise our kids with one day - whether it’s a good surprise or a bad surprise is another story. Think on that.

Things I have learned over the last month:

-I have the greatest friends in the world. <-- cheeeeeeesy!
-I have angels watching me (This keeps me up at night. I don't like being watched.)
-A giraffe can drink up to 12 gallons of water in one session. Its heart is 2 feet long!
-Saying NYE is so much cooler than saying new years eve.
-Gingerbread men and gingerbread women lead dark personal lives.
-Ann Coulter looks a lot like that crazy lady that divorced Paul McCartney and then dragged him through court. I guess crazy has a "look" after all.
-Love without drama is just about the nicest surprise ever.
-I am happy.

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