lessons

The seasons are turning. Isn’t it funny how we measure our lives in completely useless terms - what size pants do you wear? how many calories did you consume at lunch? what is your zip code? do you own a dyson? I’m trying to get back to the things that matter - I keep forgetting to focus on what is supposedly my life’s passion (ironic, isn’t it?) Perhaps I’m just not brave enough to follow through.

Lessons I have learned in the last week:

- Jojoba beads are not poisonous for consumption by dogs, in any quantity. That being said, you will still get ridiculed by Poison Control for calling to ask.
- My dog will eat anything in a plastic bag, no matter how long it takes her to get to it. If it’s sealed in a plastic bag, it must be delicious.
- It is in POOR form to get babbling drunk on a date
- A meal of chips and salsa will come back to haunt you. (This is unrelated to previous point.)
- There is too such a dance as “the shopping cart”.
- There may be a dance called “the frying pan”, but this confuses me.
- Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you’re interesting.
- One of the symptoms for lyme disease is reduced mental capacity and a lowered IQ. I think I know *many* people with lyme disease.

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