March 19, 2006 by j.

Bear with me today friends, I’m not my usual bitchy self today. Have spent the last three hours writing letters to the troops and reading heartbreaking emails/posts from soldiers that are stationed around the world away from their families. Tomorrow I will be going to Costco to spend a small fortune on beef jerky and candy to ship over as well.

For those inclined, visit the website and click on “Where to Send”, I swear you will be humbled and moved to action: http://www.anysoldier.com/ 

They give up so much for us and ask for so little in return. Write a letter or send a postcard at least, it could make a huge difference in someone’s day.

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March 14, 2006 by j.

This hit my funny bone hard: http://dogcondoms.com/product-recall.html

Another 15 consumers reported choking incidents resulting from animals attempting to ingest Dog Condoms® meat-scented condoms.

hahahahaha!!!! I guess that’s the doggy equivalent of our fruit-flavored varieties…

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March 10, 2006 by j.

Someone did this on their website and I thought it was interesting, so I thought I would try it myself.

Ten things you might not know about me..

1. I wish on a star every night that a star is visible to me. Airplanes are an alternative on the nights I can’t find a star. I always wish for the same thing.
2. For inexplicable reasons, my collarbone gives me pain anytime that somethings strikes me as squeamish (seeing someone’s eyeball for instance).
3. I wake up feeling the same every single morning of my life, no matter how happy or sad or angry I was when I went to sleep. Often I will try as hard as I can to stay awake at night, in order to hold onto the simple fact that I am feeling anything at all.
4. I have yet to feel the joy of having suffered to achieve something. I suffered to get through EE, but I attribute that success mainly to the luck of having good friends that cared enough to pull me along with them.
5. I appear to be an open book, but I can count on one hand the number of people in this world that truly know me.
6. I have an unreasonable fear of automatic flushing toilets. I’m afraid that if I don’t get out of the way fast enough (and let’s face it, those suckers always go off sooner that we’d like), my backside will be splattered with molecular poo from billions of unknown strangers. Yuck.
7. I know I’m not alone in this, but sometimes I wonder if I’m actually a gerbil is some god’s gerbilhouse, and that everyone around me is an android whose sole purpose is to test my reactions to different situations and stimuli.
8. I heart Dr. Phil.
9. I am not physically attracted to Asian men. Much to my mother’s chagrin.
10. I have a natural need to be near the water and am completely soothed by the sounds of an ocean or river.. but I can’t swim and panic anytime I am submerged in water above my waistline.

Okay - your turn Email me. I wanna hear it.

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March 2, 2006 by j.

Anyone who knows my pooch Sophie knows that she is the sweetest, most emotional little chickenshit ever to pad around on this earth. She lives with my parents, who have an ample yard for her to do her biz in. Her beagle nose has led her to lose her mind after an errant leaf blowing in the wind, or the scent of a squirrel.. or robin.. or mailman.. but yesterday, she really learned her lesson.

My dad was fully dressed for work and let her out into the yard for a quick poop, but Sophie spotted a striped cat and lost her little beagle mind, went balls-out after it. My dad caught up with her a few blocks away.. little Sophie was having a wary standoff with.. not a cat, but an honest to goodness SKUNK. They were sniffing each other - I guess skunks don’t smell pre-spray because Soph usually doesn’t even like the smell of hand lotion. Well she got brave again now that her backup (my dad) had arrived, so she started barking at the damn thing, and I don’t have to tell you what happenned next. She got it right in the face, close range. Not in the good way either. Poor thing was foaming at the mouth and red eyes streaming with tears.. trying to rub up against anything and everything she passed by on the way home. They put her in the garage while they strategized, and found her rubbing her head against the tires of the car and making little doggy love to the old sneakers we have out there. My dad hauled her to the upstairs bathroom in a contractor’s bag and she had no less than eight miserable baths that day, as well as several eyewashes. She was too distressed to sleep for most of the day. My dad had to take the day off of work too because he got caught in part of the spray and both of them stank to high hell.

Poor girl

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