November 28, 2005 by j.

Mr. Miyagi died on friday. Sad

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November 28, 2005 by j.

Happy (fourth day after) Thanksgiving!

All Thanksgiving really is, is a really big meal you take for energy before the shopping marathon the next day. Like the pasta feasts they have the night before real marathons. Had a spectacular feast with my family - my mom is the best and I fear I will never live up to her abilities. My children will grow up with miserable memories of sharing hard boiled eggs and coke out of a can for thanksgiving dinners. I am happy to report that despite gastrointestinal difficulties resulting from eating twice her BODY WEIGHT in fatty people foods in one day, my doggy is just fine and has returned to her normal size. I don’t think dogs were ever meant to eat stuffing.

My Kevin came home from californicating, bringing the sun with him. Literally. The whole time he was gone I had been whining about frigid 18-degree evenings and snow storms… but the day he comes home, it’s 60 degrees, which means I’m a big liar. Oh well. He actually seemed relaxed and happy - so I put him to work immediately hauling Christmas trees This year, we have a live Christmas tree - first one I’ve ever had! It smells wonderful. Kevin is my resident expert, my very own white guy to tell me how things are done. For example - don’t touch the bottom of the Christmas tree because it is VERY STICKY and GROSS. He told me this right after I touched the bottom of the Christmas tree, which is very sticky and gross. When I was little, my parents got the tree thing right, but the idea of stockings was lost upon them.. they put my stocking under the tree. Empty. And I put it on (my foot) on Christmas morning and wondered where the other one was - I thought it was supposed to be Santa’s sock. If memories could be framed like pictures, that would be one of my more precious ones.

I’m glad you’re home babe. I missed you.

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November 16, 2005 by j.

I just put my Kevin on an airplane and won’t be seeing him for the next two weeks. A bit introspective today.

If you knew your loved one would be gone the next day, what would you do differently? If it was your last dinner, your last conversation, your last kiss, the last time you say hello and the last time you say goodbye.. what extra words would you share? What would you hold back? What would you forgive and what would you resent? How empty would you feel the next day? And how relieved?

He’s not dying. Promise.

Had a lovely evening with Kevin last night, but all throughout the evening I was so strangely aware of all of the “last”s. Ah, this is the last time he’ll ask my waiter to get me another drink. Oh, this is the last check we pay. Aw, this is the last time we moan together about having had too much dessert. It was like watching a movie. I’m a bit goal-oriented I guess - my mind has already fast forwarded to the point in time when he’s gone, and I’m just a spectator watching events play out to their inevitable conclusion. Like GOD. I wonder how Kevin felt, eating dinner with God last night.

Here’s another one for you. If you mix sudafed and benadryl with two diet cokes and a glass of wine, how likely would it be that you’re fucked in the head and thinking too much about everything? Hypothetically speaking..

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November 16, 2005 by j.

laffy taffy makes me drool. on that note:

what did the flower say to the bike?
nice petals

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November 10, 2005 by j.

Cut my hair short. Love it.

Next step is to shave it super short like that girl from the Apprentice who blinked a lot.

Jenny, you have to go out with me again so you can see it, because she blew dry it all funkadelic the other night like I’m a wannabe white girl. I knew you were lying when you said it looked good. I knew it. Why do you lie?? Never trust beautiful skinny women. They lie.

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November 7, 2005 by j.

For those in the DC area, it is so nice out, yes?? June in November. My windows are open. And I’m sucking down smoke from the balcony above me. THANKS NEIGHBOR. Just kidding, I love smokers. On the other hand, if you’re in Canada right now, it reaaaaally sucks to be you. EH?

Saw Chicken Little on friday, which was surprisingly funny and cute at the same time, although piggy seriously needs some gastric bypass surgery. I mean, what if he falls down on his little chicken friend? One thing that kind of disturbed me about the movie - Chicken Little has an area rug in his bedroom that is in the shape of a fried egg, sunny side up. A little messed up.

The movie left me primed for a night of serious karaoke at Joe’s house, where grown men belted the likes of I Will Survive out of tune at shocking decibel levels and my Kevin was pronounced a Bob Dylan who needs to learn to sing. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Depends which end of the mic you are on, I think.

On that note, I know I’m twenty years late with this revelation, but did you know that Springsteen sings a song about killing the yellow man? What’s up with that????

I also bought a veeeery expensive little gadget, early xmas present to myself, that I hope to be sharing with you all in the near future!

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November 1, 2005 by j.

Ah, to see Cookie Monster passed out in an alley clutching a 40… that’s a damn good Halloween.

This year we were dressed as the Running of the Bulls. We started with three bulls and about ten runners - without the bulls around, we only looked like a random assortment of different-sized Chef Boyardees. We ran up and down the street screaming bloody murder.. some time during the night we lost a bull, who later turned up at a house party in Southeat missing a horn. Another bull began to come apart at the seams so we strategically fastened him up with borrowed duct tape such that it would be impossible to take a whiz without getting a little bitty splash on the shoes. All in all, an excellent night! We did however, run into one jackass during a night - a dude dressed JUST LIKE US!!! We eagerly tried to make friends, because we bullrunners have to stick together right? Power in numbers! But he put on his best sniveling weasel voice and asked in a pimply voice Did you REALLY run with the bulls?? I ran in Pamplona in July… Should have gored that sucker.

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